Continuation of Journal 8 6-21-23
We’re continuing to type our way through the journals. We’re in a journal now labeled X11.
We just worked our way through a technical glitch. Our material got lost somewhere in the system. It took my i.t. mentor, my brother in law who guides me, the i.t. people at WordPress, and my internet provider to straighten it out.
I’ve been through a complicated heart bypass surgery since my last creative push. I was down and out for awhile. We’re getting back on track now.
Crises of Doubt
I missed taking medicine last Saturday night. Whenever I miss meds, there is a certain pattern of events that follows.
I don’t sleep and have florid dreams. I get a bad taste in my mouth. Sinuses drain, and bowels release.
I awake in the morning on a mellow high. In the afternoon, there is always a psychic crises. Followed by peace and exhilaration. I end the day wondering if I still need the medicine.
My conversations with people throughout the day were wonderful. I was connecting. Then I realized, for years now I have missed connecting with people.
In the past several years I’ve been part of several groups. The folk group at the Catholic Church, the coffee house at the Bridge Ministry on the West side, the young adult ministry, the gang at 54 Merrimac, and all the people I met in college. But with all these people, I’ve made no friendships. I’m not connecting, and I think this is because of the medicine, which bears upon levels of consciousness.
We now know that schizophrenia is a chemical imbalance. However in the past thirteen years I’ve done many things to balance my system. I’ve quit smoking, alcohol, and cut back on coffee. I have been on a nutritional program, and have given up late nights. I’m wondering if I could go drug free.
I’ve been quite depressed these last few days, with the realization of my failure. My writing, music, and art are in limbo. My business progresses so slowly. Success can only occur when people connect, and I cannot connect. People turn away from me.
I know some spiritual healers. And I’ll talk to my doctor this Tuesday, and see about going three days without medicine, with the prayer of finding myself whole.
Waiting on the Lord
I know a young man, a neighbor. He is strong and intelligent. I have asked him several times if he would like to work with me in my business. He always refuses.
At first his reason for refusing my offer was that he needed time to complete recording his cd. But his cd. is done, and I asked him again if he’d like to join me. Again he refuses, explaining that he is waiting on the Lord. The Lord, he believes, will soon open the door to fame and fortune.
His Mom is supporting him while his waiting continues. He hangs out with his girlfriend, spends a lot of time at the health club, works on his music and goes to church. He take vacations to Florida, with Mom’s help. He just can’t work, so he believes, as the Lord is testing his faith.
Meanwhile , his Mom works 100 hours a week. He is able to help, in mind and body. But choose not to. He’s an only child, and his dad is gone. His mom is incapable of demanding he help out.
All this angers me. I offered him ten dollars an hour to start. He refused. I want to tell him to jump in anywhere you can. Work part time. Lighten your mother’s burden. Start helping out. The cd. is done. You can wait on the Lord, and work simultaneously. It is honorable to help out. And for helping Mom with her burden, God will not take from you, but he will bless. Trust me. Help Mom, don’t be a burden, and God will bless. Sometimes God does not do exactly as we ask. But in purity and obedience, good will come to pass.
Persistence
Let me note here that I’ve lined up regular customer in my cleaning business. I’ve two customers, to be serviced each Thursday and Friday that will bring in two hundred dollars each week. This will be great. A good foundation. With my other clients to be serviced less regularly, were making progress.
I stripped and finished the foyer up at Saint Pius last week. I thought the job would take five hours. It took twenty. But it came out great, and the pastor was pleased.
Now I’ll see about a regular maintenance schedule.
In 1988
In 1988, I dated a woman with whom I became intimate. She was a married woman, and became pregnant during the time we were together. I think, but am not certain, the child is mine. I saw her after she was born, and she looked like me. Her name is Juliet Sage.
I think of her often. I broke up with her Mom. I did not want her to divorce her husband. I was not strong enough to sustain a relationship.
I pray the child is well. And that I will meet her one day.
Toxicity Factor.
These last few days I’ve felt very poor. Very negative, very defeated.
This last week required a lot of heavy labor. I inhaled a lot of chemical fumes, as well. In refinishing the floor up at St. Pius.
For a couple of days, progress and success seemed like vain hopes. I felt very discouraged. I rested in bed today, having turned in early last night. Today things are brighter, more hopeful.
I’m wondering, if perhaps, beyond exhausting myself, I breathed in a quantity of poison chemical fumes. These poisons perhaps bared negatively on my frame of mind.
De ja vu
When I receive a de ja vu, it’s often accompanied with a direction or information. It seems to be a direct connection to the spirit world. There are powerful de ja vus, with a demand or imperative, that must be obeyed. and there are mild de ja vus, whispers or intuitions. The mild de ja vus do not always mark a direct path, as if the guidance of a spirit with limited knowledge or power. The powerful instances bear a tone, a fear creating tone, not unlike the voice of father Martin, the prior at the monastery. The gentle voices come from a power of lesser depth and strength. A young female friend, new on the mystical path.
The information most recently yielded is that changes are coming soon, and success is on its way.
Sexual Neurology
I’m going to sketch out a hypothesis here. When a young man or woman reaches the age of puberty their sexuality begins to awaken. The nerves and brain tissue that govern sexuality are developing. At this time the wiring that governs sexuality is being hard wired, and sparked into activity.
I hypothesis that the sexual experiences a child has at this time are going to affect sexual orientation, sexual thoughts and behaviors.
Now there is a second part to this hypothesis. With the sexual component of the mind- body developing at this point in the child’s life, so thought and activity patterns are developing and assuming a concrete form. The way the child relates to other people is taking on a definite pattern. I contend that the first sexual experiences will bear heavily on the form of all relationships in adulthood.
And not only sexual relationships are being developed, but all relationships. Self esteem, confidence, authority, respect of others are all affected by early sexual experiences. Not to mention sexual orientation.
Continuing on this line of thought, I believe that inappropriate or premature sexual experience has a negative effect on the development of the child. Both on the physical structure of the systems and upon the behavioral patterns as well.
I believe children and adolescents should be guided and encouraged to abstain and practice chastity. Ideally until a young lady or gentleman finds a suitable partner and marries. This would insure optimum health in body, mind and spirit.
The Long Path of Recovery.
The path of recovery from serious and persistent mental illness is a long and winding road. Finding a medicine that eliminates symptoms, without causing serious side effects is a real challenge.
Visualize a person disabled mentally. A person debilitated for many years. For a long time no medicine has been found that works. Perhaps some symptoms have abated with medicine, but others still remain.
Then along comes a new medicine. A miracle medicine. For me it was Clozaril. Within a few days of starting this medicine symptoms and side effects began to fall away.
Only now are we at a point of beginning. Let me switch to writing this in the first person.
I began to be able to focus, and some personal commitments were my first step. I resolved to practice daily prayer, and regular physical exercise. Then I began taking on some work projects for neighbors. Cleaning and gardening. I strengthened my body and built up my stamina. Then I took a college course, and soon was full time student, earning high grades. I committed myself to writing this journal, my artwork, and the study of piano.
I asked the Chaplin here at the state hospital where the nearest Catholic Church was. I went over to meet the pastor, resolved to attend church regularly.
Then my sister and my mom came up with some money. I got a drivers license, and put two trucks on the road. I assembled equipment for landscaping, cleaning, as well as carpet and floor care.
But each of the little steps along the way have caused stress, anxiety, and discomfort. I have gradually strengthened to be able to handle greater amounts of responsibility, and the stress it brings.
Now I have a college degree, a portfolio, acumen at the piano, this journal, and two businesses. I am part of the community, and an active church member. I have made myself ready for life. I am at the point of new beginning.
I have prepared myself spiritually, mentally, and physically. Not just to enter society or the real world, but to be the instrument of God’s will. I have made myself whole. He has made me whole. I’m ready to rock and roll.
*Let me note here, that I began a program of nutritional supplements ten years ago. I believe that vitamins, herbs, minerals, etc. have been a great help.
A Nightmare
I had a terrible hallucination. About being infected by a pernicious parasite.
Okay, there’s something holding me back. My life is almost ready to take off. However, there is a parasite in my body. It’s grounding me, keeping me from the flight of spirit known as success. My body is constantly ridding me of these pests, but they keep breeding and reinfecting. They look like centipedes.
In the dream I just had, I rid myself by running through a field of lavender saying “Echinacea, Echinacea”. This parasitic can be passed through kissing, or the wine in church. My body must be healed of these before I will be able to ascend to my role of leadership. They have an effect on one’s experience of consciousness. In other words, they affect our experience of reality.
They maybe in the tap water as well. In fact, Buffalo may be as backward as it is because these horrible little monsters are in the tap water supply. I’ll need to find out what they are, rid my system of them, and keep my body clean.
To Be With God.
I went down to the ocean today.
To dialogue with the salty wind,
and waves and water.
I went down to the ocean today.
I’ll go down to the ocean tomorrow.
To dialogue with the sun,
and clouds and sand.
I went down to the ocean today.
I’ll go down to the ocean tomorrow.
To be with God.
Charity
I’m seeing into charity here. Charity is not something extra. Charity is not over and beyond. Charity is absolute necessity.
There is physical poverty.
There is emotional poverty,
There is spiritual poverty.
These three are interwoven.
Physical poverty is easy to see, and easy to solve.
Emotional poverty is healed by love.
Spiritual poverty is healed by caring,
and God’s grace,
a guiding word,
a helping hand,
a gift,
over and over again.
There is a wave length.
When we all find it,
and abide there,
we will have God’s kingdom on earth.
Practicing charity,
teaching charity,
love,
long suffering,
laughing.
This is the key.
To make oneself pure and strong,
and then see clearly how
to help others.
Physical wealth is money,
and the things money can buy.
Intellectual wealth is knowledge.
Emotional wealth is personal relationships.
Spiritual wealth is the ability to enlighten, heal and motivate.
Wisdom is the ability to use wealth positively.
Charity is the ability to share wealth.
Charity and wisdom are sister gifts.
Charity is crucial for the growth of human society. But charity must be used with wisdom.
What kind of charity, how much, and when.
The ultimate medium becomes human lives. The artist becomes sage.
His canvas
the souls
of his people.
Snook Waster
It bothered me when a man down at the shore landed a beautiful snook. I was excited by his success. His wife photographed him, and he put the big fish in a pail.
After about forty five minutes, after the fish was good and dead, he tossed back into the salty ocean. “What a waste”, I thought. Something about killing an animal and then wasting it bothers me.
Woodchucks and crows are killed for sport, and this is accepted as OK. There are recipes for these species, but most people will not eat them. I also know many men will kill snakes when they see them. This is unreasoning fear and superstition. I think that when a man or woman hunts or fishes, they should be aware they are killing a living creature, created by God.
I am not saying “do not hunt”. On the contrary. I am saying the life you take is sacred. All life is sacred. And be mindful of this when you go afield.
Proverb
A young man, on the straight path, must be able to receive, and benefit from correction.
Proverb
A good child must ask of him or herself often, “what can I do to make my parents, sisters, and brothers happy”.
Proverb
A worker must strive to work honestly, with diligent competence. A good worker must strive to win his superiors favor.
Proverb
The soul of a righteous man is forged as the blacksmith of old forged an iron tool. Forged with extreme heat, the pounding of a hammer, and upon a sturdy anvil.
Proverb
A worker must be teachable. First, he must be able to learn the skills of the trade. Secondly, he must be able to learn to work hard, with honesty, respect, and a cheerful attitude.
A cheerful attitude requires an act of will, a mental decision.
Sun. May 27 2001 10:00 pm
I’ve been working hard cleaning and gardening, slowly making progress. Dad’s been helpful with repairs on the equipment. Justin helped me put front brakes on the old truck, last weekend. I’ve been thinking about formal ministry.
We went down to Portageville today, to clen and plant flowers on the graves. Kent was talking about tent camping. I’ll ask him about taking me, so I can learn some of the basics.
I’ve got more equipment ordered from Cabelas.
My physical and mental health has been good. Handling a lot of stress. My cholesterol is high. That is one concern.
In February I filed a formal complaint against one of the psychiatrists up at the state hospital. Hospital administration has asked me to press the case, for an in hospital hearing. The doctor was quite lude in his conversation.
I’m cleaning carpets at St.Pius tomorrow. Have to get to bed.
Wed. June 6 2001
Last Friday I injured my pelvis lifting a heavy garden fixture. A fountain basin for one of my gardening customers. It gave me spasms for three days. I needed help getting out of bed. However it feels much better today.
I’ve analyzed my books for the business I’m running. It is going to be tough making this a profitable endeavor.
Honestly
Honestly, as I face myself today , I can say that all the troubles I’ve had, I brought down upon myself.
Sexual abuse, street drugs, the accident, the sickness, and all the hospitalizations. I brought all these things down upon myself.
I knew right from wrong, and chose to do wrong. And the hardships I endured were the consequence of choosing the evil path.
God had called me in early childhood. I turned my back on him, and stumbled blindly into hardship. This is the truth of life. Choose evil, and suffering must follow.
I see our leaders today trying to control society’s wrongs by passing endless laws. Trying to control destructive behaviors by making them illegal. And hence, the threat of punishment. Fines and imprisonment.
However, it occurs to me that destructive behaviors could more effectively be controlled by moral teaching.
What I mean by moral teaching is sharing how to let the love of God, the Spirit of Goodness, live in one’s soul. To share how to let God’s Spirit live within. In this way people would choose to do good out of love of what’s right. The love of God. In this way people would desire to live orderly and holy lives.
Every time another law is passed we lose a bit of our freedom. AND TRUE FREEDOM CAN REIGN, DEFINING RIGHTOUSNESS UNTO ITSELF, AS ALL CITIZENS CHOOSE TO LET THE SPIRIT AND SINGULAR LAW OF LIFE REIGN WITHIN.
And this is the singular law of life. As Jesus spoke, “LOVE GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, WITH ALL YOUR MIND, AND ALL YOUR STRENGTH. AND LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOUR SELF”.
The Ballad of Timothy McVeigh
This one was included in my anthology “Brothers of Change”. It is an important piece. I’m going to share it again here.
Dawn broke this morning,
rainy and gray,
o’er the last hour
of Timothy McVeigh.
Judgment fell
on Tim today.
He danced his dance.
Now the piper to pay.
And no one knows
where his soul has gone.
He danced his dance,
and sang his song.
He brought down a building
in a western town,
with a homemade bomb
of seven thousand pounds.
He swore, he vowed
the world would pay,
and listen to what
he had to say.
To shake and awaken
his country men,
and speak truth
sixteen times ten.
One hundred sixty eight
children, men and women died.
Blood was shed,
and tears were cried.
Bones were broken,
lives destroyed.
Did it bring Tim pleasure?
Was it enjoyed?
Innocent children
died in the blast.
Flying steel,
and broken glass.
Eight federal agents died.
Families grieved,
and mourned,
and cried.
Did he think it
his holy deed
to make man and child
break and bleed?
An Elijah
killing in God’s name.
Warrior, prophet
bless and maim.
Or sadist,
unholy fool,
ignoring heaven’s
golden rule.
What was it
Timmy tried to say.
That government’s
too big today?
Look what happened
at Waco town.
When the FBI
brought the whole group down.
Again at a place
called Ruby Ridge.
Government assassins
on the bridge.
Our freedom’s
being taken away.
That’s what Timothy
tried to say.
2.
Wake up now!
The bomb blast roared.
God’s truth
by Satan underscored.
Government’s
too big, too strong.
They want your bread,
your breath, your song.
We’re all getting shuffled
from A to B.
Then back to A.
Some day you’ll see.
What Timmy tried to say
was right.
To light a torch
in fading light.
But it was not
freedoms torch he lit.
But a bomb’s long fuse,
in a well planned hit.
His way was wrong,
one can’t deny.
That’d why Timothy
had to die.
His way
was evil, wrong.
The Lord would say
use words and song.
What Timmy did
was worse than wrong.
A demon dance,
a devil song.
No one would have listened,
but for the bloodshed.
Not a word heard,
without all the dead.
3.
Prayer and good deeds
are God’s true way.
And not our fellow man
to slay.
In prisons and basements
across the land,
a thousand more Timothy’s
making their plans.
One dark deed
won’t justify another.
We can’t make peace
by killing a brother.
And a wise one said
“let’s clear the air”,
The answers lie
in work and prayer”.
People,
it’s time to come to God
and pray.
Lest we bring down
a judgment day.
The answers not
to pass more laws.
But rather teach
the Love of God.
4.
He never showed sorrow.
A face of stone.
Did he die without God,
in Sheol all alone?
The churchmen cried
he’s still a brother.
You can’t right one wrong
with another.
Timothy turned pale,
he asked for last rites.
The poisons flowed,
and out went the lights.
In a federal prison
named Terra Haute,
Death by injection,
his end, no doubt.
In the distant sky
lightning flashed.
His body burned,
now dust and ash.
Was there truth
in what he said?
Will his mercy speak
from the Land of the Dead?
Dawn broke this morning ,
rainy and gray.
O’er the last hour
Of Timmy McVeigh.
And no one knows
where his soul has gone.
He danced his dance.
I sing his song.
And no one knows
where his soul has gone.
He danced his dance.
I sing his song.
Thoughts
True salvation
is not about me,
who I am,
to where my soul is journeying.
It is about us,
the circle of loved ones,
traveling to
a perfect world.
Ideally,
sentience, awareness, consciousness,
will not be broken
at the time of death.
Rather,
the complete mind
need never experience
the void and confusion
of death and human infancy,
ever again.
Thought
The dolphins
and whales
might possibly be
a post human incarnation.
Somehow
I have a friend, a brother,
with whom I have shared my soul.
Yet he persists in drugs,
loose women, alcohol,
and occult deceits.
I’ve spent much time and energy on him.
I’ve hired him and paid him well.
I’ve taken him to the monastery,
and fishing in the north woods.
I’ve reasoned with him,
and introduced him to the true masters.
Yet I have failed in my attempt
to show him the Christian way.
Somehow,
even the unteachable,
incourageable,
and rebellious brother
must be touched and transformed
with the message of freedom.
It is my prayer
that all men, one day, be free.
Free from sickness, poverty,
wrong thinking,
and wrong doing.
With the human mind
united to God,
one can light the light,
ring the tower bells,
and let the banners fly.
The true leader,
teacher,
and guide,
must be free.
Awaiting
Awaiting
a manifestation.
Something beyond words
or pictures,
or song.
Beyond money,
and the things it can buy.
Beyond gentleness,
and kindness.
Beyond the birth of a child,
or a beautiful home.
Beyond simplicity,
holiness, or the willingness to work.
I see now
what our world awaits.
Christ’s return,
quenching our thirsts,
satisfying our hungers,
healing our bodies,
and teaching us song.
I’m becoming aware
of a power within my body and mind.
The ability to create joy and well being.
The ability to sense
and to overcome
bad emotions in the environment.
At Camp on Kiwassa
I’ve been able to create
an aura of joy,
with the help of others,
and the grace of God.
I’ve been helping in the kitchen
with dishes,
splitting wood,
and keeping the fire glowing.
I’m learning not to twist the minds
of those around me,
with words and deeds.
But rather to monitor
and feed
the entire group experience,
of joyful well being.
Gainful Labor-Sinful Labor
The food co-op had a picnic today. It was customer appreciation day. There was lots of wonderful food for everyone. I volunteered to help out. There were lots enthusiastic helpers, and throngs of hungry guests.
The conversations were refreshing, and it was a pleasure to be part of the busy occasion. One conversation was especially entertaining. A youngish panhandler appeared on the scene. He claimed to be at the point of death. He said he was penniless, been walking for days, and had no food. I know however, that he lives with his mother, just a few blocks away.
He said he was on a fast for God, as he grabbed a plate full of chocolate fudge. And that he was living by faith. He’d been offered work, but he had turned the opportunity down. To work, he said would be sinful, not trusting God.
At this point a fair young lady entered our conversational group. His eyes bugged out, as he eyed her breasts. Then turning back to me, he continued his pleading. He said he needed to make some phone calls, but had only one Canadian dime. I reached into my pocket for quarters. I always s carry change, for parking meters, phone calls, and panhandlers. They will often cling to you until they receive something.
I assured him that God was him, and that everything will work out fine in the end. I turned and walked away, as he loaded his plate with food. Evidently to continue his sacrifice to God.
Balance and Well Being
There are three areas of being in our lives. They are body, mind and spirit. Each area must be developed and made healthy by exercise and practice.
Each area must be healthy and functioning, for the individual to be made whole. If one area is lacking, the entire entity suffers.
If the body is not cared for, so the mind and spirit are harmed. If the mind is not nurtured, so the spirit and body suffer. If the spirit is neglected, so the physical body and the intellect are negatively affected.
The body is maintained by nutrition, exercise, rest, and not ingesting toxins. The mind is maintained by work, study, reading, involvements and interactions. The spirit is maintained by prayer and reading, worship and meditation.
Just as the body can be harmed by taking in toxins, so can the mind be harmed by taking in negative images. And of course, the spirit can be harmed by the actions of body and mind.
In order to be truly well, this balance must be established. I hold this to be a law of life. When this law is not upheld, there are negative consequences.
The three spheres of being must be upheld in like measure. Fully maintained, in sufficient measure.
If the body of believers is lacking is any way, it is most likely in the area of the prayer.
August First
The first days of summer, like a day at the carnival, and a pocketful of change.
Now it’s August first, the money half gone, and the day is half over.
A man,
Spiritual and single,
missing a maid,
his work unwanted,
heads for the hills.
Sublimation
We’ve been spending a lot of time on our guns. I bought a new rifle. A muzzle loader. And then had to learn how to use it. We’ve been out shooting, and will shoot again this weekend.
Working with one’s guns diverts a man’s thoughts from women and sex. And in this respect it may be good.
Sept 12th, 2001
NY City. Trade towers down.
An unwise person might think that only the victim of a misdeed is harmed. There is no way one can harm another without damaging, if not damning, their own soul.
Why history created the teachings of Islam, which encourages these deeds, is incomprehensible. Perhaps to set the scene for the fulfillment of prophecy.
Perhaps
Perhaps the nearest inhabitable planet is in our own solar system. There may be another string of planets on the far side of the sun.
Prophecy
I draw and aim the arrow. No sights. Nor gentle father to guide me.
The arrow released, flies true. It is God’s prophecy fulfilled.
I raise my hands in praise, for the salvation of another world.
It is a sad and sorrowful day.
Leaving the people I love, to go to another land.
Prayer at a Time of National Disaster
God of perfect peace,
violence and cruelty have no part with you.
Accept the prayers we offer for our nation.
And especially those who have died or been injured,
all whose lives have been changed by the disasters that
have taken place in New York City, Washington, and throughout our nation.
Give strength, wisdom, and direction to President Bush
and his advisors
as they address the magnitude of this tragedy.
For the families and friends of the injured,
and of those who have died,
uphold and sustained them with your grace.
For all emergency personnel,
and all others responding to this disaster.
Protect them, give them strength, courage, and sound judgment.
Give wisdom to all of us at this time of confusion,
perplexity, and pain.
Keep us from rash judgment.
Restore tranquility, peace and soundness t our lives.
We ask this through Christ our Savior and Lord. Amen.
Last night as the candle light service ended, and the crowd began to thin, one man with wife and child, looked back and loudly said, “what do you expect, America, you’ve killed your own prophets”.
A Day of a Million Tears
A bright Sunday.
Calm weekend, early eve.
Smoke from burning buildings rise,
a nation doth mightily grieve.
Just a week ago,
America in blessed peace.
Wealth beyond measure.
Freedom’s sweet release.
But today the tears of millions fall,
As the nation comes to arms.
Our people join together,
from cities, towns and farms.
A cry for vengeance rises,
from mountains, ash, blood and cement.
Our soldiers gear for battle,
holy men don their vestment.
Our war plan is being forged.
Our people begin to pray.
Fear and anger fill us,
as we face a judgment day.
For a foreign power
has launched an attack.
Sneak from behind,
stab in the back.
Two towers dropped
in New York town.
Another hit
on the Pentagon.
Jets were flown
into towers high.
And the Pentagon,
six thousand die.
We don’t know yet
who attacked our nation.
But foreign lands
rise in celebration.
There are religions on earth today,
teaching salvation through war.
There are millions believing in violence,
the path to Heaven as horror.
In a quiet rush
our leaders convene.
As detectives and soldiers
comb through the scene.
And when the guilty people
are named,
America will arise
with hell’s hot flame.
Yes, tonight in the Land of liberty
we unite in grief and horror.
As our leaders calmly tell us,
this is the third great war.
The greatest act of terror
this land has ever known.
Six thousand bodies burned,
under steel and ash and stone.
All across our nation tonight,
we join in candle lit prayer.
To unite in faith, and grief, and hope.
And friend, I must go there.
For no one knows tomorrow.
The joy or sorrow it may bring.
We fear the frozen winter,
before God’s blessed Spring.
I must now don my coat and boots,
and go downtown the square.
For the city unites in prayer tonight.
And I must be there.
So I go now my friend,
to join in grieving prayer.
People crying out to God,
and I must be there.
Our people crying out to our Lord,
and I must be there.
