3-10-25
Today I begin to type the next collection of journals and letters. These writings go back fifty years to the summer I spent in Australia, and the early onset of mental illness. Schizophrenia. They include writings from my time as a psychiatric inmate, and course work from my four years at Empire State College. There were several cardboard cases of old notebooks in storage in the attic. I began by reading through and sorting out what should be included, and what gets burned.
Let me note that today is our first spring like day after a punishing winter. It’s bright, calm and warm. We’re off to a good start.
The first notebook is coursework from a study of shamanism. A shaman is an indigenous healer.
Lifting up the Nierka
“The shaman’s path is unending. I am an old man and still a baby, standing before the mystery of the world, and filled with awe”.
Matsua.
After 64 years of study Matsua completes his apprenticeship. He sometimes chants for days at a time. He is mystic healer. At 78 years old, he still walks the 250 mile pilgrimage to the sacred land of the peyote cactus.
“Unless we remember quickly what our lives are about, unless we celebrate through ceremony and prayer, we will again face destruction, but this time by fire”.
“Only in solitude of the wilderness can one learn”. “Your love of the gods – the sun, the fire, the waters- brings forth Nierka”. Enlightenment. “It is not I who sing, but the little dear who is singing in my ear”. Peyote, too is teacher”.
“Without celebration, the gods are unhappy and bring misery. Celebration unites people in God.- One man can make a difference, invoking rain and bountiful harvest. “
“When you do ceremonies, send out love to the five directions. North, south, east, west, and the center. That love brings in the rain. The tribal and shamanic send love to the sun, ocean, and the earth”.
“The Ocean says that if the earth doesn’t soon come into balance, there will be a terrible fiery destruction”. Go to the sea and make offerings. Take a candle, chocolate, and money. offer these tings to the sea. Pray for her, tune yourself to her. She will give you heart”.
“Study these things I am saying, and your life will become stronger. One day the Sea will give you heart, the Fire will give you heart, the Sun will give you heart”.
“One’s spirit and soul are visible in ones face”. +
+Question:
When I go into a trance, all is black, absent, without voice or time. However, when awakening, I am often aware of a voice deep within. My question is this; I feel in trance as if I am in the portal between worlds, unable to move. How should I go about transporting self, spirit, and soul, into the next dimension or realm?
The next section of notes is from Shamanic Voices Joan Halifax – Clark and Co. Publishers 1979
The water baby is an infant that lives in the water of lakes and ponds. Water babies are self created, and can be powerful allies.
The sea serpent is a mythological figure that enters this reality just long enough, and just often enough to keep people frightened of its appearance.
The unicorn, as well, is an entity that exists in the mythical realm, and only rarely appears in the world in which this is written.
The dragon, like the sea serpent, exists slightly beyond this reality. These mythical creatures appear and disappear in the course of succeeding eternities.
Then there are the doll like mythics who spend most of their time in other worlds, the same way humans spend most of their time in this, the ordinary reality.
The list of these people like beings includes elves, dwarves, trolls, pixies, and sprites. Another reality includes angels, devils. and deceased saints. Then there is the realm of the dead, and familiar spirits.
Just as “the Kingdom is at Hand”, so are all these creatures and the realms in which they exist.
Voyagers of the lower worlds tell us of the river that only the visitor and the pure can cross. On the distant shore is an underworld paradise. The river itself tortures the souls of those who die unrepentant. The guardian of the lower world is said to be a ferocious beast. Those who journey there after death are doomed to the eternal suffering of hell, the mythical river, if their souls are impure.
The shaman possesses knowledge of all these realms, and how to travel there. These powers he uses to heal, guide, and protect his people.
The eagle, the bear, the cougar, sometimes the snake or any other animal can serve as spirit allies. These are an avenue of communication with the Great Spirit whose power transcends all.
The sacred power of certain magical drugs is accessed by the shaman as well. The peyote cactus is a door to a paradise all its own. +
+ The wisdom of these powers and realms most often comes through great tribulation. The initiate is often beset with mental or physical illness. There is a mental illness that guides a soul into the wisdom of the ages.
Many initiates suffer crucifixion and reanimation. Sacred powers cannot come into being until after dismemberment and rebirth. The shaman enters the mythical realm.
Reality is consciously known as illusion. A power is gained akin to the ability to walk through walls. Death exists no longer. The shaman becomes a little god.
The shaman serves as a guide to his people, calling on precognitive powers. He is one who passes tradition to the following generations, as teacher. He supports, empowers his people in hunting and warfare. Lastly he is healer.
The law of life dictates that divine empowerment comes at great cost. Only through suffering and devotion are these powers achieved.
With “white man’s” always groveling for money, and disregard for God and nature, our world has lost its balance. Our world is in danger of destruction.
As man strives for enlightenment, Heaven is pleased, and Earth is purified. Because so few earnestly walk God’s path, true pilgrims are overburdened.
The Sacred Tree embodies all life. It is an entity involving lower worlds, middle earth, and the celestials. It is an axis of creation, with whom the shaman is in dynamic relationship. The sacred tree embodies the holy, the harmonious, and the eternal. The shaman lives in a merging of nature, culture, and super nature.
The spirit of the shaman is depicted as a bird in flight. Feathers symbolize both flight, and rays of the sun. The ecstatic flight of soul is depicted conceptually, on cave walls, and is, as a concept, 15,000 years old.
Time and time again, we read accounts of the trials of those walking the path to becoming a shaman. Initially, most become ill. Physical and mental illness besets those called. The trauma of sickness opens the mind to the leadings of the spirit world. Sometimes those beset are ill for many years. Sickness is mortification of self, preparing the path of spiritual abilities.
Many initiates pass through a literal, not metaphorical death. This death comes through starving, freezing, exhaustion, fire, and drowning – some initiates are shot with a gun. And having died, the initiate may pass through a second death. A second death where his corpse is devoured by wild beasts. Then after having penetrated the womb of oblivion, the initiate is reborn. It is only here that ego structures are completely destroyed. Ego structures obliterated, the shaman is then able to assimilate powers and mystical truths from a higher and deeper realm. Death is not an ending, but beginning a life in another reality. The shaman is balanced between worlds, He teaches that Illness and death can be a passageway to a greater life. +
+ The shaman has integrated many planes of body and spirit: ordinary and non-ordinary, individual and community, nature and super nature, mythic and historical, the past present and future. The shaman may leave his body behind, while the soul journeys to other realms. The shaman’s heart and soul are used as the gate to healing, vision, even salvation. The shaman bridges the abyss from earthly mortality to perfection of the celestial worlds. The shaman is charged with the task of maintaining balance within the community, as well as between the human community and the divine forces that direct the life of the culture.
The shaman labors to keep his people under the “world tree”. He believes there is in the center of the world one mighty flowering tree. This tree shelters and feeds all men, as children of one mother and father.
One shaman said “true wisdom can only be found far away from people, out in the great solitude. It is not found by play, but by great suffering”. The path of many Catholic saints is similar to that of many shamans. Catholic seekers of past and present have engaged the solitude of the wilderness. Saint Anthony, for example, spent months of prayer in the desert confronting and defeating demons.
I personally knew a man who lived in a cabin on a wooded mountain for many years. This man was a beautiful soul. He spent his life in prayer, weaving and doing art. And fending off the wilderness.
Christ Jesus, as well, sought the solitude of the desert. He often reposed in the hills. On a forty day fast in the desert he overcame temptations, and strengthened himself for his ministry.
Let us discuss power objects. To the tribal shaman, the pipe and the gourd rattle unite man to the world tree. They are of the central axis of life. The sacred pipe unites the shaman with his ancestors from whom it has been received. The rattling of the gourd empowers the shaman to see and travel in the spirit. Inside the rattle the beads may be of dried pieces of human flesh.
The drum is also a sacred power tool. The beating drum provides protection, power and guidance to the shaman on a spiritual quest.
A transparent quartz crystal is also a revered power object. Crystal has many meanings. Crystals are said to be living, solidified light. It is said a quartz crystal will guide a human soul.
Other power objects are listed, without describing their power. These are hairballs, stones, animal skins, bird feathers, animal claws, the list is endless.
The totem pole is given special mention. The totem stands to guard a community. It may also be the door to another reality for the shaman embarking on a quest.
One Indian shaman speaks that death and disease do not come from alcohol, tobacco, or coffee.+ Instead, disease